Strange Thing Mystifying
by Stina1
Summary: The thoughts of Judas during the "Strange Thing Mystifying"-scene. Several hints to shlash J/J. (who else?) Well this is my first post here. So if I did anything wrong, just let me know. and please read and review my story. Thanks. :)


Disclaimer: JCS is unfortunately not mine. It all belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice.  
  
  
  
Judas was watching the scene from afar. These morons surrounded Jesus like sheeps their sheperd, obviously not understanding one single word he said. Jesus was upset Judas could tell from the look he was shooting him. For a moment he could feel the magic again, that had been between them since they first met, but then Mary pulled Jesus away, sitting down on the stairs with him, caressing him, making him feel comfortable. And Jesus was smiling like an idiot, Judas thought bitterly.  
  
Oh yes, he had to admit that Mary was attractive - for a woman.  
  
Slim, dark curlies, big brown eyes, and a skin - so tender and soft, almost transparent.  
  
Surely it would feel good to touch her skin. After all she was a woman, and he had had some women before, and he knew that Jesus had, too, but this had never affected their special relationship. Until she came!  
  
Judas looked over to Jesus who had decided to ignore him completely. His golden curlies gleamed in the sunlight and his eyes were like a deep clear see, so full of love, full of sympathy for everyone. But some time ago there was more than only sympathy in Jesus` eyes, when his look fell upon Judas. A connection of two minds, different, but complementing each other so perfectly. Dark - light, hell - heaven, passion - calmness, fire - water, Judas - Jesus.  
  
But it wasn`t only the spiritual thing going on between them. Oh no, there was a very physical aspekt in their relationship.  
  
Judas knew too well, how sensual this man with the aura of a saint was. He remembered how Jesus had reached out for him so many times, caressing his face, covering his whole bodey with heated kisses. Oh my, what a saint! Judas smirked ironically.  
  
He looked yearningly at Jesus. He desired to walk over, tug Jesus away from the bitch, press his lips on his mouth, making them all see to whom Jesus really belonged.  
  
Judas sighed. Jesus had decided to make a big career, not as a leader of some nation, no, his ambitions reached higher, he wanted to be the whole world´s leader in heaven.  
  
And so they had to keep the true nature of their relationship in private, cause a spiritual leader had to be chaste and pure, and having sex with Judas would spoil this image slightly.  
  
But despite that Jesus always had managed to find moments and places to meet each other, without these morons around.  
  
Until she came!  
  
When Mary joined their group, everything changed. Nearly imperceivable everything started decaying. At first Jesus only pitied her, but then he turned his heart to this slut, he suddenly stopped meeting Judas, stopped touching him, and last the passion disappeared from his eyes when he incidently looked at Judas, what didn`t happen really often anymore.  
  
He watched Mary instead, with this look full of desire, desire for something more than just a disciple`s adoration. And the bitch would have loved to give Jesus far more than that. After all this was her profession.  
  
Oh, Judas was quite sure, that Jesus hadn`t touched her; this wasn´t simply about sex; it was worse - probably some kind of love.  
  
But he knew Jesus well. He definitely wanted her, to spill his seed inside her, not only mentally, but what image would that be?  
  
The sacred spiritual leader, the new messiah and a prostitute?  
  
Judas climbed down the wall and walked over to them.  
  
IT SEEMS TO ME A STRANGE THING MYSTIFYING THAT A MAN LIKE YOU CAN WASTE HIS TIMES ON WOMEN OF HER KIND  
  
Mary abruptly turned her head looking daggers at him. Judas smirked satisfied. Yes, he had hurt her. The slut didn`like to think of what she had been, and what deep inside she still was.  
  
YES I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SHE AMUSES; BUT TO LET HER STROKE YOU, KISS YOUR HAIR IS HARDLY IN YOUR LINE.  
  
Jesus looked very upset. Good! From time to time he had to be reminded of the sublime goal he had sacrificed Judas for. Judas could feel his heart freezing when he thought of the possibility that Jesus could give up his ambition for her, that he could love Mary more than he had ever loved him. Judas swallowed and his features hardened. He grabbed Mary by the hand and threw her down the stairs.  
  
IT`S NOT THAT I OBJECT O HER PROFESSION  
  
Jesus got up watching Mary, as if he couldn`t believe what Judas had done.  
  
But he needed to accept the truth. She was nothing but a whore, undeserving his love.  
  
BUT SHE DOESN`T FIT IN WELL WITH WHAT YOU TEACH AND TELL  
  
He approached Jesus, but he just turned his back on him, didn`t deign to look at him.  
  
Jesus was so far away, completely out of reach; even though he stood just a few metres away from him, the gap between them was too wide to close, Judas realized sadly.  
  
IT DOESN`T HELP US IF YOU`RE INCONSISTENT  
  
Judas desperately tried to get a reaction from Jesus; an explanation, a touch, a push, a shout, a burst of anger whatever, just a reaction to show him that he still cared. But Jesus turned away, walked to Mary and helped her up.  
  
THEY ALL NEED A SMALL EXCUSE TO PUT US ALL AWAY  
  
Oh my, had Jesus gone blind? Didn`t he see the danger? Didn`t he notice that the whole Superstar-thing was getting out of hand? That he was losing control?  
  
And all because of Mary? Because Jesus couldn`t take his eyes off her? Because of her oh so seductive feminity?  
  
WHO ARE YOU TO CRITIZISE HER? WHO ARE YOU TO DESPISE HER?  
  
Finally he had gotten through to him. A cheeky smirk stole onto Judas face, hiding his desperation inside. So he wasn`t important enough to make Jesus react, the holy goal didn`t count anymore, but a little insult, a bit of offending Mary, that was enough to make the peacemaker fly into a rage.  
  
LEAVE HER; LEAVE HER  
  
LET HER BE NOW  
  
LEAVE HER; LEAVE HER  
  
SHE`S WITH ME NOW  
  
For all who hadn`t got it before, the point had been clear now. The leader had chosen a new favourite. Judas swallowed hard, suppressing the tears that burned inside his chest, when he watched Jesus stroking Mary`s hair.  
  
Get it Judas, you don`t fit in there anymore; you lost the master`s favour. And your place`s already occupied.  
  
IF YOUR SLATE IS CLEAN, YOU CAN THROW STONES.  
  
IF YOUR SLATE IS NOT, JUST LEAVE HER ALONE:  
  
Judas turned away, and when Mary passed him, he couldn`t resist but licking his lips in an offensive way; he would never forget WHAT she was and he would see that noone else would forget, and some day even Jesus would have to admit what she was and that she didn`t deserve better than be treated like that - a common whore!  
  
The morons that had been quite still till now, suddenly bursted out in anger. Peter grabbed Judas, wanting to beat him. Judas smirked. Violence - that was the only language they understood.  
  
Do you see, Jesus, on what fertile ground your message of peace and love has fallen?  
  
I`M AMAZED THAT MEN LIKE YOU  
  
CAN BE SO SHALLOW THICK AND SLOW  
  
Peter let go of Judas, not because he had understood what he had done wrong, but he didn`t want to upset his adored messiah, his superstar.  
  
Judas grinned ironically. For once Jesus had come so close to the truth as possible.  
  
Shallow, thick and slow - that was his herd, the chosen ones he wanted to build a kingdom of peace with.  
  
THERE IS NOT A MAN AMONG YOU  
  
WHO KNOWS OR CARES IF I COME OR GO  
  
Judas walked away from the group. No, he never had belonged to them nor ever wanted to.  
  
NO! YOU`RE WRONG, YOU`RE VERY WRONG  
  
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?  
  
As if they hadn´t proven enough, that they didn`t understand anything.  
  
And yet, their stupidity was dangerous; a danger Jesus didn´t see. But these morons would get them all in trouble, and at one point Jesus wouldn´t be able to get out of the tight spot anymore.  
  
And he wouldn`t be able to save him, for he had lost every influence on Jesus, Judas thought in resignation.  
  
Suddenly he recognized Jesus dividing the group like Moses divided the oceans and felt grabbed by him.  
  
NOT ONE; NOT ONE OF YOU  
  
Then he turned around and hurried away.  
  
Could it be Jesus thought he was the same as the rest? Did Jesus forget that Judas had been the only one who understood him, who knew him at all? Did he even forget that he loved him once?  
  
Judas stared at Jesus feeling an icy hand reaching out and getting hold of his soul, and a dark premonition clasped his heart; a premonition that whispered to him that he had been cursed from the very start. 


End file.
